Santana

You better be good you better not cry because Santana Claus is coming to town! He knows when you’ve been sleeping (Twins!!). He knows when you’re awake (Sox and Yanks), so you better be good for goodness sake!

Santana wants out of the Twin Cities and if you’ll throw together a nice parting gift to the Twins, you could wind up with one of the greatest lefties of all time, while your nemesis is left with nothing but a stocking full of coal this Christmas.

Bob Sansevere. You are dumb. So very dumb.

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Here's the text (since you have to register to see this and I know people are lazy):

"If I'm the Twins' general manager, here's what I do. (And I'd do it under duress because I'd be working for a cheapskate owner.) I get on the horn with Boston Red Sox general manager Theo Epstein and say, "You want Johan Santana, right?"
Epstein likely will say, "Right."