Jon Pysz's blog

The AFC or Alpha dog Football Conference is where all the parity talk in the NFL flies right out the window. Pencil in the Pats, Chargers and Colts. The rest of the teams comprise the beta dogs (well except for KC they could be best summed up as the three legged dog that urinates blood and lives in a gutter), and these teams will fight for the meager scraps left come playoff time.

Joba Chamberlain – The 22 year old pitching phenom of the New York Yankees. His mound presence is unequaled amongst pitchers in his age group.

Terminator- A cybernetic organism from the future hell bent on the assassination of the only threat to its existence….Sarah Connor.

Jobinator- A pitcher of pure domination and the future of his franchise, and with a steely calm collective cool he’s hell bent on the destruction of the main threat to his teams advancement….The Boston Red Sox.

The Target- Defending world champion Boston Red Sox.

A-Rod is reportedly separating from his wife of 5 years. This isn’t a surprise to most as his stripper quests have been repeatedly broadcasted nation wide, but what is surprising are all the rumors surrounding his latest fling. He’s been seen all about town with the one and only Madonna! She’s turning 50 in a month and a half! While I wouldn’t be immune to her overpowering sexuality a guy like A-Rod probably has the pick of the choicest girls of every city he visits.

Wimbledon is the sacred hallowed stomping ground of the worlds elite tennis players, like Martina Hingis.
It’s also the world’s most deadliest place……....to be a pigeon.

Well the Big Me couldn’t shrink away into irrelativity this off season. The spotlight is once again on Kobe whether he wanted it or not. He was literally the butt of a Shaquille O’Neal freestyle rap gone bad.

Interleague rivalries are awesome.

The MLB schedule-makers blessed us with more interleague play this week (with more to come!) which has mostly just reaffirmed that the American League teams are just much, much better than their National League brethren. The AL teams combined to go 49-35 this week, stretching their season advantage to 96-72. Basically, an AL team beats an NL team at the efficiency of a playoff-caliber team over the course of the season. And if you remove the performances of Toronto & Seattle (who both had managerial changes this past week), the rest of the AL went 46-26 this week – that sort of winning percentage would equal a 104-win pace if one team was to play at that clip. If anyone brings up reasoning on how the NL is better, we’d love to hear it, because the NL is clearly inferior. Yet the Cubbies have retained the top spot. You figure it out.

1.
Chicago Cubs 48-28 (1)
-(3-3) Derrek Lee during an interview earlier this week on ESPN’s PTI said he was happy for the White Sox when they won the World Series in 2005. If any Cubs fans took that the wrong way all their qualms should have been quashed this past weekend as the Cubbies swept their inter-city rivals. Ryan Dempster improved to 8-0 at home, and increased their lead to 4.5 games in the NL Central, which is ever more important now that they have to weather injuries to both Soriano and Zambrano.

Now I say preview, but what I mean is my predictions on how the C’s should/could adjust the game around Rondo’s injury. I have no idea if the Lakers are even thinking of ways to improve other than to just allow Kobe to go nuts, and hope someone, like Vujacic, can step it up.

Who is this team in the finals…these LA Lakers? Well they can certainly cry me a river, but as far as a basketball team I haven’t seen it yet. They find themselves out of their element playing against a superior defensive team, and have nothing but excuses. We all know about the foul disparity, but horrible officiating has been the rule rather then the exception these playoffs, so what exactly is this teams problem?

The NBA Championship is upon us. I won’t hype the hooplah surrounding the dreamlike match up between the two most vaunted franchises in the association. You can get that on ESPN in fact in between updates on Big Brown’s cracked hoof and the latest Joba related event it’s just about as suffocating coverage as you can get. Instead I’m going to tell you why all the experts are wrong and how the C’s will win the series.

Joba Chamberlain- A 22 year old right handed powerhouse. A bulldog of a pitcher who has scouts raving and Yankee fans in a frenzy.

Abattoir- A Slaughterhouse; from the French meaning to strike down.

Jobattoir- A butcher of bats, a slaughterer of the sultans of swat. His presence on the mound is more intimidating than any blood splattered apron wearing, cleaver wielding maniac could ever hope to be…or so the Yankees hope.